Monster
by WinterDrake
Summary: One way a conversation could have gone between Joyce and Spike. Set in season 5.


**Monster**

"Bloody perfect!" The blonde-haired vampire growled to himself. He was incensed that the Slayer had removed his invitation from her house. It had hurt to realize that she did not trust him around her family after all he had done for them.

"Bitch! You'll need me again soon!" He yelled as paced in a backyard near the house. He could probably get one on the Summers women, except Buffy of course, to re-invite him. They liked him, especially the Niblet. Spike was sure he would be able to rub it in the Slayer's face that she couldn't keep him out soon.

"Spike?" Came a voice that he instantly recognized.

"Oh hello, mum." Spike began. "The slayer let you out? There are nasties about, you know."

"Of course I know. I came to speak with you over what happened today." The older Summer's woman walked up to him. She seemed determined and that did not bode well for him.

"I bet she told you about the Drusilla thing. I'll have you know that it's not as bad as she described it... Possibly." He put up his hands and took a step back.

"Before I ask anything else. Why did you do it Spike?"

"I uh... am in love with your daughter. I know it may be hard to believe but I do." Spike admitted. The Slayer's mum liked him. Maybe letting her know about this would be good for him in the end?

At the woman's expression to his revelation, Spike already knew that wouldn't be the case.

"So because you love her... You chained her up and threatened to feed her to Drusilla when she rejected you? You can't force someone to love you, Spike! She could have been killed thanks to you!" Spike had never seen the older Summer's woman this angry before. She continued to speak. "Do you realize how it felt when she told me that? My baby could have left me forever…"

"I'm really sorry mum, I didn't mean it to happen that way. She wasn't supposed to get free and I was planning on killing her to prove my love to Buffy!" He realized that was the wrong thing to say when she glared at him.

"To prove you love someone, you were going to kill the woman you loved for over a hundred years after only a year of separation? Do you realize how stupid that sounds? Who's to say you won't kill my daughter if your relationship doesn't work out?"

"I know it looks bad now but I know I could be the one for your daughter. We are equals. We are opposites, light and dark-" Spike argued.

"Oh, this isn't a romance novel, this is real life!"

"Mum, please listen! I would do anything for your daughter. She deserves someone who is her equal and can understand her." Spike tried desperately to explain himself.

"And why do you think you deserve her? What have you done that makes you think she should just fall into your arms?" The older Summer's woman spat.

"I've helped her! I've helped you and Dawn."

"You did most of those things out of selfishness, Spike. The way you act, it's as if you think Buffy owes you a relationship because of those selfishly motivated deeds." Joyce sighed in exasperation. "Look, I do think you care about us now but if you had never met us before and crossed paths with us one night without your chip, we would be dead. Am I right?"

"But I know you. I would never hurt you." The vampire pled. This conversation was going nowhere he wanted.

"You could have known all of the people you killed. Just because you didn't bother to get to know them, they deserved to die?"

"I'm a vampire! I need to eat you know!" He just couldn't keep his mouth shut it seemed.

"Yes, I can understand that you need to eat _but why do you kill?!_ You never had to."

"It's what we do! I can't help it."

"Can't help it? Does that mean if that chip was removed you would start killing again?"

"I would stop for your daughter, mum. Please understand." He wondered if he would want to though. If the chip was removed, he could finally get fresh human blood. Pig's blood and cold human blood from the blood bank were not as satisfying as the fresh stuff.

"If you are able to stop then why did you start in the first place? _If you had a choice why did you murder thousands_! Children that could have led full lives, parents whose children needed them, so many people. These families will never see their loved ones thanks to you! And that's not all you've done. You killed, raped, tortured, stolen, and god knows what else!"

"I've stopped now!" Mainly because of the chip but he could stop his bad habits entirely, if he wanted. At least he thought.

"Does that really mean anything? You've stopped because you were forced to, not because you think it's wrong. How are you better than the average vampire that still does these things or any human that likes to rape and murder? If my daughter was not the Slayer, how do I know you wouldn't have raped her and left her dead in an alleyway somewhere!"

"I would never!" But Spike truly did not know. There had been many a time where he would pick up a pretty little thing to get him off and then feed on them till they died. He liked it when they struggled and he had never really cared what age they were. There had probably been a hundreds of victims that had been Dawn's age and many more that had been Buffy's.

"That's all in the past now, please listen!" He knew this conversation was getting out of hand.

"All in the past? You say it like it doesn't matter anymore. Those lives you've ruined, the pain you've caused. You tried to _kill_ my daughter multiple times!"

"I'm different now…"

"Are you? Do you regret killing those people? Do you feel anything for the people you've hurt!?"

"...No." Spike admitted. He thought of his victims as prey. They were inconsequential.

"And that is why I will _never_ condone a relationship between you and my daughter. If I allowed this relationship, then I might as well have spit on your victims faces and graves. I have two wonderful daughters and to know that you've killed thousands of other daughter's like mine disturbs me."

"...I…" Spike didn't know how to respond.

"The thing is Spike, despite knowing these things… I like you. It's so easy to forget that you have done all these despicable crimes... And I've realized that that makes you more dangerous. You can act so human and we let our guard down around you. But your true nature will show itself eventually."

"For the last time, mum. I would never hurt any of you! Just because I'm a vampire, it doesn't mean I'm a monster!"

"Oh, I don't think being a vampire makes someone a monster…" She said, "It's the fact that they don't feel any remorse for the pain they've caused that makes them a monster." Joyce looked at him sadly. "Spike, I am asking you give up on Buffy. She will not accept you and I would never want her too. Not how you are now."

"But…"

"I don't want to be cruel. I'm deeply grateful for everything you've done for my family. I'm sorry Spike but I will not budge on this. Leave Buffy alone."

With that, Spike was left alone as Joyce returned to her house. He stood there for some time before he left back to his crypt.

* * *

 _Wrote this years ago. Can't really remember the show or episode all that well so I can't say if anyone is in character. Or even if this would be something they would do. Still gonna post it though since it seems to be finished. ;p_


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